Sunday, February 10, 2008

"Under My Breath, Life Breathes Me" (Majo,12/96)

Under my breath, life breathes me
My breath falters, gets tight
All but goes away
The breath of life rocks me gently
I float on a tiny raft
On an immense, wild ocean
Struggling to stay afloat
To somehow chart a course
In the void, the vastness
Life is the ocean
It holds me and my raft
Were I to lose the raft
This tiny defense that I call home
Plunge naked into life
Drop under the surface
Lose my grip
Over my head in life
With no bearings
Surrender all hope of ever again
Knowing which end is up
Say goodbye to surface life
That has seemed my only realm
Slide down, down, down into life
What then?

"This Story I Tell" (Majo, 11/22/05)

I’ll tell you my story
If you tell me yours
We each have so many
Which to share in this here and now?

We’ll tell them piece by piece, bit by bit
And see if we recognize
Each other in them

Some of mine may sound different than yours
But still may lay open
Some part of the human cloth
We both do wear

Some will stir memories, echoes
Of places we have been
Lives we have led -
Others will leave questions more
What was that like?
How would it be
To have been there?

How do we make it safe to tell?
We look, we smile
Or I frown when you do frown
We sit alert or sigh
And settle more in this
Soft or hard real-life chair

Each time I tell
Each story will come out different
Because each moment I will change
The river of my life will wash me in a different wave

If my story does honor my past, does make it real
Then it also shows why this moment, too, is true
“So this is how I came to this here and now
This is the only way it could have been”

If my story shares my now with dignity
Even in the humiliations of this human life
Then it also claims my past
As nothing but human, too
If it got me here
It is valid as it is
To change it might make me you
Or some other soul I would not know

I can wrestle with these demons of mine
Better than could you or them
If I took on yours or theirs
They would take me down
In no time flat
I never grew those muscles
That keep you or them alive

Each tale implies a future
How could all this life-flow end?
Only our minds
Separate past, present and what’s to come
They are all alive here and now
We shine a light on them
One by one

If my story is to reach your heart
I must break it open to the truly human core
That place which is most vulnerable, cracked
And so alive
That part I would most protect
Hide, camouflage, prettify

If you have not gone where I describe
You still have felt what I have felt
You will recognize the urge to hide
And the release in finally not
If this part of my story is not you
The telling of it is

I tell myself stories about my life
That hurt me more than what went on
I make myself villain, goat, victim
Of the play.
I must tell them
Again and again
This way and that
Until I find the thread that is most true

In that thread I am nothing but Life
No longer separate
My unique story takes me home
Where I am you as you are me
Where we are more than we can see

Life tells its infinite story through us
As each wave, for a moment
Describes the sea