Non-resistance - Marita's victory

The other night at my weekly Life Lived More Deeply open group (http://www.llmdongoing.blogspot.com/) we were having a great time, as we almost always do.

When there was about 20 minutes left in our time together, a young woman in the group named Marita (she has read this and has told me that she doesn't mind me using her real name) said, "You know, that last bunch of stuff you just said really doesn't fit for me - it's not how I see my life at all."

I instinctively knew that what she was saying was really important, that - although on the surface she was challenging me and what I was teaching - truly what she was up to was not to challenge me, but simply to speak her truth. I felt not one bit defensive - not even for a moment. Rather, I got excited - excited for her, excited for the possibility of us opening up that meeting, that ongoing group even more.

I asked her to say more about how she saw things differently than what I had just said. And she did - in vivid, specific ways and with lots of enthusiasm. It was clear that speaking her truth was exciting to her - and that she knew that this was OK with me.

At one point she said, "That stuff you just said felt cloudy to me, like just a tangle of words." I simply repeated what she had just said, "'Cloudy, like just a tangle of words.' That's so vivid, so real - you really, truly know how this part of your truth is different from this part of my truth, this aspect of what I am teaching."

She looked triumphant - excited, alive, powerful. She had not triumphed over me - we were completely partners in this bit of exploration. She had triumphed over all the forces in her life that have, in the past, kept her from ferociously defending her own perceptions, her own understanding - her own truth.

She and I were both very happy in that moment. I said to the group, "If I had interrupted this heroic person, if I had challenged her or tried to convince her to see things my way, we could easily have gotten into some kind of verbal tennis match, each of us trying to put the ball past the other one. But we didn't need to do that. She was doing exactly what she came here for - and really exactly what this group is for. We come together to provide space for everyone in the room to find your own truth, right now, in this moment. When you align yourself with your specific, individual truth-in-the-moment - and even more so when you let yourself express this truth - in that moment you are living your life more deeply. You are discovering and being who you really are. We were all lucky to be present when this was happening for Marita - it gives us a little glimpse of how we can become more that exact person who we uniquely are."

I saw Marita four days after our meeting - and we have emailed each other several times in the last few days. She is really on a roll - she is hot! In one email she said, "If you look to the west, you can probably see me shining." And it felt like I could.

It is very exciting to be around someone who is having such a direct and powerful experience of Life Lived More Deeply. I am really grateful to Suzie for demonstrating so clearly the power of truly, courageously being your own self. She is radiating fabulous positive energy - I feel lucky to be around it.