The Case Against “Personal Growth”

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve really got nothing against people investing time, energy and money on activities (“workshops”, “programs”) that would identify themselves as furthering “personal growth”, “consciousness raising”, etc. God knows there are lots of worse ways to keep busy. (I love the bumper sticker that says, “Jesus is coming – look busy.”)

And I, for sure, have – at other points in my life – also invested time, energy and money in many of the same kinds of activities. So I by no means want to suggest that there is anything wrong with this stuff. To do so would be exactly the kind of dualism that I describe in an earlier post. (One of my friends said to me recently, “I don’t really understand what is this dualism that you talk about, but I get it that it’s a bad thing.” That was pretty funny. Ok, let’s back up here and take another crack at this thing...)

No, rather than suggesting that there is anything less valuable or valid about keeping busy this way, I more want to make a case for why it can also be valid to take a pass – why, for some people at some points in their lives (like me, now) all these activities might actually not be all that valuable.

How can someone who once embraced all manner of personal growth activities now eschew them? Doesn’t that mean that he (me) is rigid, defensive or “stuck”?

I no longer have any desire to “grow”. I also have no interest in trying to shift (“expand”, “raise”, “liberate”) my consciousness. The emphasis there is on the word “try”. I honestly also don’t know exactly what “consciousness” is. I think it actually is a construct created by people who want to help you raise it.

Stephen Covey says to “Begin with the end in mind”. I don’t know that I actually want to make a habit of this, but this seems to be an instance where it actually might be useful. Where is all this going? “Where we are going” is a notion on which I and many of the growth purveyors would agree. If I said that where I am going is to more and more realize/feel/perceive/know that all of life is one and that I am a spiritual being having a human experience, I think that lots of these folks would stand up and salute. The real difference is in our perceptions of how to get there.

The way I see it, life is pretty much always working us over already. It gives us experience after experience offering the possibility of us seeing through the game of separateness (“Illusion”, “Maya”). Sometimes it gives us the lightest of nudges or even just a whisper, inviting us out of the prison of self. Other times it basically beats the crap out of us, all with a loving intent, to help us release our ferocious attachment to attachments – to all those things we think we need, including how we need to think of ourselves.

If life is the great workshop, then we don’t need to go seeking any teacher or facilitator, nor any modality/discipline/teaching/school or even any coach or counselor. What we really need is to slow down, breathe, relax – and begin to smell/taste/glimpse/hear the subtle hints that we are not alone.

Here’s the other kicker, though. I don’t believe there really is anything we can do to speed up the process. All this breathing, relaxing, tasting, etc. is stuff that surfaces in us when the time is right. Life has its own rhythm for waking us up. I won’t even claim to know exactly what “life” is, except that it is everything, including me. So that deeper level of me, underneath all the stuff that I think is me, is unfolding exactly right – and doesn’t need any goosing.

When people are inclined to attend a personal growth workshop, that is exactly right for them, then. But it just doesn’t make any difference. Whatever we are doing now is always perfect. It always is just what we are meant to be doing then - in fact, all that we could possibly be doing. The real sweetness is when we are gifted with moments of “getting” this (“seeing it” or whatever other metaphor). That’s when we are able to more let down into life.

Whether that moment surfaces when we are on a Vision Quest or walking down the street or enjoying a margarita with a friend – none of that makes any difference.

So, to my friends who are going off to a workshop, you have all my blessings. I think it’s perfect for you to be doing that. Just don’t try to recruit me.